My Breast Cancer Journey: Radiation Week 2

I completed my second week of radiation this past Friday. Honestly I don't know why they fuss so much. I have been fortunate not to have any adverse side effects thus far.

Each day that I walk into The Cancer Institute and scan my card, I feel blessed to be walking through the doors on my own two feet. So far I have seen another woman around my age, otherwise most of the patients are senior citizens. A few days ago I walked into the waiting room and saw a woman who looked a lot like my deceased grandmother.  There have been several times during this journey that I have felt her presence along side of me, so when I saw the woman that looked like her waiting to be treated I was caught off guard and startled.

When I was 12 years old my grandmother passed away from Breast Cancer that had metastasized in her liver. My life came to a screeching halt and has never been the same. There have been many procedures along this journey that I have felt her presence in the room with me as I laid there on those tables, however radiation was not one of them.  Since she had a mastectomy, she did not receive radiation so I was on my own for this one.

This past week as I laid on the table, I thought about how precise the measurements are and how the technicians have to be perfectly lined up with graphs on my chest.  As I laid there and let them do their jobs, I thought about how my life is in their hands.  I trust them to do the right thing, make the right measurements and administer just the right amount of radiation.  These are people that I don't even know and they don't know me but I trust them to do their job because the State of California has certified them to do it. It got me to thinking about how we can trust people that we don't know, but not willing or able to trust God that knows us better than anyone ever will.  Just think about it. He knows the hairs numbered on our heads, our deepest most inner thoughts, and he hold the blueprints to this physical body that we walk around in.  I can lay on the table with confidence because I know God to be The Master Physician.  Since He designed this body, I trust Him to guide the technicians' hands to the exact points on the graph. Laying there, thoughts of including the technicians in my daily prayers entered my mind. After all they are the instruments that God using to administer my treatments.  I don't know why He chose those technicians for me, but I know that I am in their lives for a purpose.  I have been able to share my faith in God with them not by waving my Bible around and preaching a heavy sermon, but by letting them know I'm not worried or nervous because He has in under control. I may only be on the table for a few minutes but it feels like an eternity, which reminds me that one day with Him is like a thousand and a thousand is like one day.

Life is short and tomorrow is not promised. If there is one thing that I learned during this journey is that TIME IS PRICELESS.  I will continue to live my life to the fullest because God  blessed me with this gift called The Present and I treasure it like nothing else.

My Breast Cancer Journey: Radiation Week 1

This week I began radiation treatments for Breast Cancer.  Once again I had no idea what to expect. I read all of the literature that they gave me, but until you are actually laying on the table with your arms above your head it just doesn't seem real.

The staff is really nice and they are so happy to have me there. If I didn't know better, it's almost like they are being paid to be extra nice to the patients.  I know it sounds weird, but these people actually love what they do, and it shows.  What I can't get over is how many senior citizens are being treated for Breast Cancer. Each day that I come in, the lobby is full of them .  Nobody ever wants a cancer diagnosis, however I'm really glad that the Lord allowed me to go through it in my youth, rather than in my golden years.

Earlier in the week they placed three little "tattoo" dots on my breast as markers to line up the machine.  I have secretly wanted to get a tattoo for a while, but I never imagined it would just be a dot or two. When I look at my breast it doesn't look like a familiar part of my body. The surgical scar, pen markings, tattoos and discolorations almost make it unreconizable to me, not to mention it's square shaped due to the surgeries.  Who would have thought that such a soft, nurturing part of the body could cause so much adversity in my life?  On a daily basis I bare my naked chest to total strangers to facilitate life saving treatments.  Keep in mind I'm the type of gym member that changes in stalls instead of the open locker room so it was very uncomfortable in the beginning.  Now when I come in I'm just like Demi Moore in Strip Tease, breaking away the shirt and getting down to business.

Laying there on table as the radiation penetrates my body, all I can do is sing praises unto my God.  It's easy to praise Him when you are on top and things are going well in your life. I find it just as easy to praise Him laying on my back being zapped with radiation because I know that He is with me. I know that He wouldn't put more on me than I can bare, and if He gave it to then I can handle it.  People are amazed by my lack of worry, stress and uncertainty on this journey.  It's not that I don't care what happens, but I gave it to God from the beginning and I allowed Him to carry this weight for me. In His Word He told me to cast ALL of my cares upon Him, and I did. It feels to good to show up to my doctors appointments and treatments and know that my Heavenly Father is in control and has already handled it for me.  From the beginning of this journey I made the decision to be a warrior and not a worrier. There's only a one letter difference between them, but a HUGE difference in mentality and thinking.  I am a child of The King and I AM a warrior!