Tuesday, May 20, 2014
My Breast Cancer Journey: Radiation Week 2
Each day that I walk into The Cancer Institute and scan my card, I feel blessed to be walking through the doors on my own two feet. So far I have seen another woman around my age, otherwise most of the patients are senior citizens. A few days ago I walked into the waiting room and saw a woman who looked a lot like my deceased grandmother. There have been several times during this journey that I have felt her presence along side of me, so when I saw the woman that looked like her waiting to be treated I was caught off guard and startled.
When I was 12 years old my grandmother passed away from Breast Cancer that had metastasized in her liver. My life came to a screeching halt and has never been the same. There have been many procedures along this journey that I have felt her presence in the room with me as I laid there on those tables, however radiation was not one of them. Since she had a mastectomy, she did not receive radiation so I was on my own for this one.
This past week as I laid on the table, I thought about how precise the measurements are and how the technicians have to be perfectly lined up with graphs on my chest. As I laid there and let them do their jobs, I thought about how my life is in their hands. I trust them to do the right thing, make the right measurements and administer just the right amount of radiation. These are people that I don't even know and they don't know me but I trust them to do their job because the State of California has certified them to do it. It got me to thinking about how we can trust people that we don't know, but not willing or able to trust God that knows us better than anyone ever will. Just think about it. He knows the hairs numbered on our heads, our deepest most inner thoughts, and he hold the blueprints to this physical body that we walk around in. I can lay on the table with confidence because I know God to be The Master Physician. Since He designed this body, I trust Him to guide the technicians' hands to the exact points on the graph. Laying there, thoughts of including the technicians in my daily prayers entered my mind. After all they are the instruments that God using to administer my treatments. I don't know why He chose those technicians for me, but I know that I am in their lives for a purpose. I have been able to share my faith in God with them not by waving my Bible around and preaching a heavy sermon, but by letting them know I'm not worried or nervous because He has in under control. I may only be on the table for a few minutes but it feels like an eternity, which reminds me that one day with Him is like a thousand and a thousand is like one day.
Life is short and tomorrow is not promised. If there is one thing that I learned during this journey is that TIME IS PRICELESS. I will continue to live my life to the fullest because God blessed me with this gift called The Present and I treasure it like nothing else.